Month: October 2025
Trump’s $300 Million Ballroom: Where Democracy Goes to Get Fancy – Former President Plans Monument to Moderation and Understatement
The Great Lab Monkey Escape: Primates Choose Freedom, Researchers Choose Panic – 43 Monkeys Stage Prison Break, Immediately Regret Nothing
NVIDIA’s Washington Love Affair Blossoms Into Full-Blown Lobbying Romance – Tech Giant Discovers Congress Appreciates Expensive Dinners
Millions of Taxpayers Applaud Government Shutdown – Nation Celebrates Not Paying for Services It Won’t Receive
Mexico Announces It’s Actually For Mexicans – Revolutionary Policy Change Surprises Exactly Nobody
Letitia James’ Resting Prosecution Face Terrifies Local Jaywalkers – Attorney General’s Intimidating Countenance Reduces Crime by 40%
Jaydon Blue: The Color Everyone’s Pretending to See – New Hue Divides Nation Between Liars and Honest People
Commission of Fine Arts Discovers Art Is, In Fact, Fine – Bureaucratic Body Validates Its Entire Existence
Mystery Number Sparks Global Confusion – Mathematicians Baffled by Random Five-Digit Sequence
Bring a Book, Wear Comfortable Shoes, Fake Shocked Face In a playfully absurd satirical scenario, Letitia James’s office is imagined issuing tongue-in-cheek instructions for surviving a day in the public spotlight: bring a book, wear comfortable…